My Bharat Ratna sells chaddi baniyan and Cola too....

Today when I opened my FB account, I saw a status line by one of my friends asking a simple question.. Why dint Dhyanchand ever get a Bharat Ratna? Here is my response.

Sachin is a God. Yes, certainly, I have recently heard that there is a temple being built in Bihar for him. Now how cool is that. Only after Rajnikant, Amitabh, and 36 million Hindu deities he is the only one with a temple to his name. Well, the news is Pravin Amre and Nilesh Kulkarni have already visited the site and offered their prayers along with Romesh Powar. Sachin Bhagwan inko prassanna hue the!

This is a list of comments why he deserved a Bharat Ratna;

1. He is surely serving the nation to fullest by selling credit cards and eggs on a Sunday afternoon. What did Dhyanchand sell? Nothing. Infact,  when offered a lucrative offer from Germany to promote the game in Germany as their citizen, he declined it saying he played for his country only. Such a fool he was!
2. Sachin has scored 100 tons in cricket. Dhyanchand? Well, just because he scored 400 goals in international hockey, he doesn't equal up to Sachin.
3. Dhyanchand played in an era where media was owned by politicians. Their agenda was very irrelevant. So who would pay attention to him when the country was basking in prosperity . On the other hand, look at the GOD. The media has become so real. They now talk about real issues like Saas Bahu aur Beti and have hardly covered any cricketing news in last 20 years. The country now needed a hero to rise and save their hopes rather than saving girls from being raped on streets. For every single run he scored, the country was elated. So what their taps were dry and stomach were empty. Look at the "spirit" of the country. One newspaper even said "Bharat Bandh" on their headlines when he played his last match. Did Dhyanchand achieve this feat?
4. So what if Dhyanchand brought 3 (just three) gold medals in its national game in Olympics. I don't care. Did he bring the cricket World Cup? So what if the GOD dint score a shit in the finals, he brought the cup home. Now some people will always crib saying that there was a 3000 crore betting on India, how come Sri Lanka kept bowling fuller lengths... But please don't pay attention. On the other hand, all games in Olympics were fixed. So Dhyanchand does not qualify.
5. Dhyanchand brought just three medals home. God brought a full sized working model Ferrari without paying a penny in tax. Now tell me, could Dhyanchand have done this impossible feat? Forget Dhyanchand, can you even get a 105 inch LCD past the customs....
6. Basically, you don't understand. Just because at the Olympics Chand has two of the highest scoring individual performances ever (In 1932, against the United States, he scored eight goals in leading India to a 24-1 win, while in 1936 he scored three goals against Germany, as India won in the final, 8-1.) we cant let him have a Bharat Ratna. Can we?
7. Now tell me, will this ever match to the record of an individual who played rats ass in finals. I call that a performance!
8. Just because Dhyanchand was poor and did everything possible to get the country laurels in Olympics, we cant let him have the medal.
9. See man, the national sport is child's play. Anyone who can run with a stick in hand can score that. But playing cricket? It is beyond human possibilities. You have to wear all protective gear, manage the outdoor shootings, PR, bookies, ensure your face looks fair for that "Gori Cream ad" and fit body for "Boost is the secret of my money.. sorry energy". No one can do that like God. Not even Billy Ponsford (go Google him you dumb @$$, if you ever thought there were only 2 batsman in the history of cricket).
10. We are all blind. We just see God. We do not see anything beyond that. Ab bolo!

Now the eleventh reason I wanted to put was really that that time Shri. Sharad Chadraji Pawar was not alive for lobbying for Dhyanchand. But I am refraining.

Ok. Now all you God fans, cricket is the new age opium that keeps a billion people drooling blindly in one of the most corrupt nation on earth. I know you have so much to say here. But honestly, take a crap! I do not care what you think and how God is great! All I care is my hard earned tax money should be used for something more valuable rather than blowing it up on one person. BTW, I am sure that you haven't even thought about why Savitribai Phule deserved it more than your media created God.

P.S. Comments disabled to ensure you sleep sound :)